When you know that you are Serbian

You are a Serbian when:
- You begin most sentences with "jebiga"
- You can not explain what "bre" means, but you use it all the time
- your mother insists that "promaja" will kill you
- older people call you "sine" although you are a girl
- your mother tells you to wear "potkosulja", no matter what the temperature outside
- You tuck your "potkosulja" into your underwear
- your father refers to all politicans with "djubrad", "lopovi" ,and"kriminalci"
- your mother threathens you with "samo cekaj dok ti cale dodje kuci"
- You are 6 and your father sends you out to buy him "Zajecarsko"
- You start your day with a cup of cofee
- your mother won't accept the fact that you are not hungry
- You have "pita" for dinner at least 4 days a week
- You have "sarma" for dinner the remaining 3 days
- a loaf of bread is eaten for lunch every day
- your neighbour comes over every day uninvited, for coffee
- You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name
- your mother tells you not to sit close to TV, and not to use cell phones, because you will get brain tumor
- your mother tells you that you will get sick from drinking cold water
- your parents have "goblene" on their walls, and "heklanje" on every piece of their furniture, including the TV
- the time is divided into "before" and "after" the war